How to give a crap (in a world full of it)

Approximately ten years ago I asked you a question: Do you care? I was worried about the harsh things people were saying, about the cynicism and how people were trying to ignore important things. Well, it doesn't seem to be any better today.

Remember all those books about how not to give a fuck or shit or other profanities? Back when those where all the rage I already found them concerning. Now yes, the message of those was not to get too invested in all the small issues in life. Not to be so overly sensitive that you are constantly thinking about what other people think about you. You know, choose your battles and stuffs.

This whole "choose your battles" thinking has rubbed me the wrong way for a long while. You don't necessarily choose your battles, as they choose you. Often this saying is used as an excuse to ignore even the bigger battles. The stuff that really matters.

Of course lots of that advice is given by people of privilege. From that point of view it can be difficult to see how the world really goes around. Not giving a crap is a great way to place yourself above everyone and everything. You become numb, nothing can move you.

Life is a messy mess. There are lots of things you cannot control. It doesn't mean you shouldn't care about those things. If a racist self-indulged government members make bad decisions you cannot control, it doesn't mean you should just lay down and take what comes. It may seem easier at the moment, but in the long run it gets harder and harder. The longer the mess is let to accumulate, the more work there's needed to clean it up.

Okay sure. If you are in a constant alertness, it will get hard on your mind and body. I know how that goes. Burnouts are not a joke. As the world sits witnessing in real time war crimes going on unpunished, it can make you numb and uncaring too.

It's not easy to care. It's not easy in a world were caring is seen as weak and silly. It's not easy in a world were money and power are more important than well-being.

So what's the way? How to keep caring in a world which is full of it?

1. Make art

Of course this is again where I highly recommend making art. Not trying to make perfect art.

Make a mess. Make ugly art. Make mistakes, and then make more mistakes. Draw imperfect lines, mess up the perspective, combine the wrong colours. Learn the "rules" of art and then go against them. Or don't learn the "rules" and just try yourself. Art is great for your mental health and can give you new ways to view things.

Avoid taking shortcuts, such as using generative AI. Shortcuts make you careless, and they make you care less. If you have to actually do the task, such as drawing or painting or writing, it keeps your brain flexible. Flexible brain can give a crap.

Write or draw your feelings. Don't overthink it, don't think you have to make it perfect. Write or draw what you see or experience during a day. The extraordinary, the mundane. Just make art.

In uncaring societies, making art is resistance.

2. Connect with your feelings

There seem to be many reasons and many opportunities to get angry these days. Bad news, sad news, people being assholes for sports, uncaring people, ignorance... Grrr! Pay attention to what makes you angry. I don't mean you should avoid getting angry. But pay attention to it and think about why it makes you angry.

Actually pay attention to your feelings in general and examine them. Why did you like something? Why did you dislike another thing? Why were you indifferent?

It seems that people are busy with trying to feel less, because there's so much to feel. But that's not the way to go. Numbing yourself up isn't helpful, it only makes it all worse. Rather than trying to feel less, try to understand your feelings. Learn from them. Connect with them.

Understand your own feelings and you might start understanding others too.

3. Get into fiction

As I keep bringing it up, reading fiction has been studied to build empathy. For me other forms of fiction work too. Comics, series, movies. I'm personally not good at listening fiction, but if that works for you, go for it.

During the past two decades I've heard it too many times. People bragging how they don't read (or watch) fiction, but only develop themselves with non-fiction. That's just sad. Fiction is as important for your learning as non-fiction. Yes, fiction can get some facts wrong, but hey I've read non-fiction with many factual errors too.

Often reading or seeing or hearing something in fiction has made me curious, and to make some research on the subject. No matter if the fiction had it wrong, it still directed me to learn about the real thing. So develop your brain with fiction.

4. Connect with other people

With all the technology you can get connected with other people from different cultures and different lives. You can have conversations with people on the other side of the earth. You can learn about different lifestyles, cultures, ways of thinking. You might even learn something about yourself on the way.

I'd like to note here, I don't subscribe to the echo chamber and filter bubble myths. It seems to be an excuse for abuse and douchebaggery. Usually people moaning the loudest about echo chambers are the people who seem the least sensitive to other people's feelings. When connecting with different kinds of people you don't have to connect with those who (wish to) hurt you, or who you notice hurting others.

So if you use socials, unfollow and block when you feel like it. It actually helps to to give a crap when you aren't flooded with some pointless crap that makes you feel like crap. Just like offline, you don't have to keep up with a conversation that doesn't feel right to you. Respect your boundaries, and respect other people's boundaries. If someone shows you the door, walk out of it. Also don't force other people to teach you about themselves if they don't want to.

Keep your mind open and stay curious, without being invasive. Befriend people. Build community rather than following.

5. Question power

Power appears to be a problem. The more power, the less caring. Or more caring about keeping power than anything else. So if you are or get to be in power, try to keep yourself grounded. Keep reading and watching fiction. Do stuff you don't feel you are good at. But do those things without feeling shame about them. It's okay to be bad at stuff. Laugh at yourself, but with kindness.

Ask yourself how you got in power. If your answer is with hard work, ask again. Who helped you? How did the society help you? Who gave you the seed money or the support and why did they do so?

Whether or not you are in power, keep questioning power. Keep asking hard questions from those who are in power. Fact check them. You don't need to be rude or threatening doing this, just ask. You know what, just keep asking questions. I think too many people are too afraid to ask questions and too many are way too confident with giving answers.

6. Pay attention to the little things

There are wonderful things in the world. You may not notice them, cause you are too concerned about paying your rent and feeding your family. But there are wonderful things, which deserve your attention as much as everything bad and sad.

The yellow leaf that just fell down from the tree. It looked almost like a butterfly, fluttering and floating. How it is part of the natural cycle, turning into more nutritious soil. And then, next spring the tree will grow new leaves and the cycle goes on and on.

Stay naive and curious. Childlike curiosity keeps you learning and unlearning. It keeps you brain flexible. It keeps you making art, asking questions, connecting with other people and enjoying things. It's a natural cycle too, just a one in your head.

Keep on wondering, keep on dreaming, keep on caring!

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